Saturday, November 17, 2012

Beauty is her name

I have the most amazing kids ever, especially when they're not pissing me off :) So tonight, my eldest gets a mention - Kae.

She is really going through this phase of self expression, physically, and my God the beauty of her is so striking sometimes. It often catches me off guard.  She's got bright red streaks in her burgundy dyed red hair. She's rockin the glorified mullet "scene" haircut, and the other night I shaved the side of her head :). She's 13. She wears her black combat boots or custom converse with her zebra striped leggings and cut off purple shorts, or bright red skinny jeans with a leopard printed skull on her t shirt. She's got a billion bracelets and colored contacts for each day of the week. She's this Marilyn Monroe / Blood on the Dance Floor obsessed work of art that I am blessed to have created and able to nurture.

She's been begging me for guages for her ears. Um no. Mommy can only nurture your individuality so much before I allow her to make a permanent change to her head she'll hate me for later. We agreed, fake gauges were the way to go. She bought them with her own money, today at the mall. As we were leaving in the car she put them in and lit up like a flipping Christmas Tree smiling from ear to fake gauges ear.

I started rambling about how I was so proud of her for being who she wants to be and expressing herself, not worrying about dressing like everyone else (the teenage ass and titty committee), and how it just makes her so much more beautiful to be able to embrace the idea of being unique, or just being whoever the he'll she wants to be.  Holy run on sentence, I know. She replied with "I love you"

Beauty is her name.

Snaggley - #4 idea

This post idea was "messed up teeth (which you hate)", given to me by my friend of over 20 years.

In school days I always freaked out when someone had gross unbrushed (butter) teeth. I was also pretty open about my thoughts on crooked (jacked) teeth. Funny how she remembers that! Man I was a big a hole huh? I hope I never directly made fun of anyone, but I probably did...:( People who think I'm a bitch now would really have thought a lot less highly of me then!

Any way, back to the topic at hand. Now that I'm older, over my traumatic youth of being made fun if myself, and more realistic about the new and improved less perfect me, I am much more understanding of the crooked teeth. Not everyone can afford two or more years of braces on top of oral surgery and all the other fun things that eventually lead to perfectly straight teeth that can go right back jacked if you don't spend the rest of your life maintaining your new smile. I get that. No one should ever have been reluctant to enjoy a laughable moment because some pitch like me may have jumped all over your flaw to make herself feel better about yours.

HOWEVEEER!!! There is no excuse for not cleaning them things. That is easy. Do it. I have forgotten to brush my teeth a time or two in my life and I feel HORRIBLE for those around me who had to get a whiff of that dragon breath! Seriously, just pick it up and run it through. There is no reason you should wonder why the words you're saying to me are going in one ear and out the other. I am just too focused on not breathing near you. I see butter, and I don't want to smell or taste it. Brush your damn teeth...make your kids brush theirs too so people will always want ro listen to what they have to say :)

Dirty mouth? Clean it up with.  .  . YOUR MOTHALUVIN TOOTHBRUSH!!

(Missy, if I offended anyone it's your fault)

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Idea #3 - What young girls wear

I have to thank my friend for requesting me to write about this. It's something I bitch about probably daily. Only when I see a young girl, around my daughters age of 13 usually. That's sad it's a daily thing huh? Well it is getting cold out so maybe I won't be wondering "what were her parents thinking!?!" so much for a while.

I don't understand how this happens. Is this where the "pick your battles" theory goes wrong? This is a war worth fighting and winning, as far as I'm concerned. Purple or bright red hair - fine. Partial shaved emo/scene head? F'in lovely. White out contacts? Sure, unique. Ass cheeks hanging out the bottom of your shorts and a vajayjay shot when you bend over? Never. Where do we draw the line? There isn't a line. There's an ocean and mountains and shit. It's not an option. Give me my ammo and cantine, this battle is on and poppin.  <~~ for those  who have to go there, you should. And good always wins over evil booty shorts.

These days I feel like moms like me are a dying breed. Where are our warriors? How do we raise strong women if we give up?

For the parents with the "ok" for theory girls to dress this way, please tell me what I'm missing? I just cannot imagine being content with my child exposing herself this way. Men giggling with their eyes glued. Little boys running by playing the booty smack game. And then people like me who see this and feel sorry for that child. How horrible. What would that make her feel like if I told her I felt sorry for her.

I don't want to be the parents my grown daughter asks "what were you thinking Ma?" - atleast in regards to this topic. I have made parenting mistakes and I'm sure I will make millions more. But this is one I firmly believe is up to us. Our CHILDREN do not have a say in how others look at them, but it helps to start with teaching them how to look at themselves.

Snots Snots Snots Snots Snots Snots! Everybody! (in my LMFAO voice)

Tis the season...for snot faced kids.

Ugh, I can't stand it.  I let it really consume my mood and it starts to take over my entire life.  Yes, snot.  I'm a nanny, and I'm a Mama of 4 (duh) so I am wiping snot all day friggin long the past two weeks.  From a fever to pneumonia, and the flu woo hoo too, we've got it all going on ova heya!

I know germs are everywhere, I'm not crazy...ofcourse I know this.  BUT, my kids only get sick when (or as soon as) they come in contact face to face with someone elses kid(s).  So I'm in for it this season with this fresh new nanny job.  This winter will be the death of me.

My monster twin boys are screaming "snot, boogers, mamamaaaaaa" every five seconds of the day.  I can't sit down, literally, for more than 32 seconds without having to get up and wipe a snot face.  Ok, so my goes.

I get overly emotional during this time of year.  As if the family drama and Competition Christmas is not enough on my list of annoying shit I have to deal with, the sickness is always the worst.  Nothing is more heart breaking to me than the whine of a child who can't breathe out of his nose or can't sit still because his wee little leg muscles are aching with the fever and pain.  I have cried over this, like yesterday.  Other moms laugh at me, they tell me this is "all a part of having kids".  No shit, thanks for the big smack in the face wake up call.  I know what I signed up for!  That doesn't make it any easier.  I may be a tad bit psycho, cause I do wanna put my kids in a bubble or just keep them the hell away from yours!  No offense, I'll love you more when flu season is over.

On the upside, can you believe there is one?  I get more (snotty) kisses, hugs, snuggles and lovins than I do at any other point in my life as a mother.  Oh the joys!!

I'm thinking...

Wtf - Idea #2, BOOBS!

First of all, I went through putting down all of my emotions about weight and struggles I have with it last night and the blog is gone!!!
Maybe that's a message, but gone? Even if I didn't publish it, it should have been saved as a draft right?

Ok then. On to BOOBS.

I love men, but I like boobies too. My hubs and I play the "you think they're real?" game all the time. I win, cause I have them and I know. What else? I wish mine were bigger. I wish everyone had a tattoo on their BOOBS so I had an excuse to be looking so hard. I'm not turned on by them, so dont get all creeped out :). I really don't know what my deal is!! I don't know how to make this shit serious. I just keep picturing motor boats!

Ok ok. What do BOOBS mean to me? Well when I was pregnant with my twins mine were enormous!  My plus size maternity clothes fit perfectly and I was happier than a pig in shit about my body. Now? My BOOBS are always out. It's embarrassing when your best friends husband posts a picture of you on his fb page while your holding your son captioned "Jeannette and her twins, and the kids' cute too"  Right?!? It's not because I want them out. It's because I still wear the maternity shirts and my BOOBS no longer fill them out so every shirt I own just hangs off. This would go back to my weight post...but I'm not in the mood. Just like a fatty, dismiss it. Anyway!!! The only option I have here is to wear t-shirts to cover and that's not happening cause I HATE t-shirts.

I got nothing else. I'm gonna look back on this later to remind myself how stupid I sound. Maybe I should habeas narrowed the BOOBS idea down a little bit before I started rambling. Oh well, hope you enjoyed this as much as I didn't. Ugh.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Game on

I'm challenging myself, lol. Actually I just wanna relearn focus. I asked all my friends on.fb to give me something to blog about, any random thing and I didn't care what it was. So I have a list I'm gonna go through. I hope these people (all 3) realize that it's totally my opinion on these subjects :) cause it's my blog and I do what I want.  Stay tuned. . .